preparation level = 5%

i wanted to have a scrapbook for my wedding prep...but until now, buku pun tak beli, magazine pun ada dua tiga ketul je...tu pun dah bape kali hilang! :P mcm2 la...so ive decided to start a blog...agak2 cam malas nak tulis, baru wa start main cut and paste for my scrapbook nanti....

i only have 5 months to pull everything off! kursus belum pegi...baju wa tak tempah gi, pelamin baru nak tetengok, doorgift tak order lagi....serious, ni bukan habuk pun takde...molekul2 kecik yang tak nampak ngan mata kasar pun tade!!!!!!uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

chill bebeh! chill!!wa slalu ingatkan diri wa suh cool......tapi bila dah jadi mcm ni, nak cool kejadahnya!!! ni dah horror weiii!

ok ok...hari ni wa rasa wa nak gi jejalan..nak tengok bebarang hantaran...yelaa..beli sikit2..lama2 jadi bukit! wa nak siap now!

my dream wedding would be boho forest wedding....theme nak gegempak...tapi usaha kureng! hahahahaaaaaiiiihhhhh!

minah gatal yang telefonnya tak berfungsi diwaktu siang!

wa panas! sakit hati ! sedih! semua ada...nak kata wa ni jeles gegila takde ah...tapi i think she's too much!! melampau..! kang wa panggil dia bitch...terasa...japg org kata wa plak jahat..tapi kalau dah perangai cam tuh....what else can i call her... .an angel in disguise??

wa bukan apa..dah few times benda ni jadi..., kononnya tunang wa je la dahan dia nak mengadu nasib....ptuiii!!!! kalau ye pun ada masalah...call la cam siang2 ke...pepetang ke...ni tak...memalam bute..kul 2,3,4,5 pagi pun nak ganggu hidup orang lain...wa cam bengang gak ah! memula wa cam rasa tak best...wa pun dah suh tunang wa sound dia...kalau nak cakap sgt, jgn la call time2 yang memusykilkan....kalau betul urgent sangat, cakap je la....ni tak, 'u ngan farra ke?takpelah...i call u baack!' yang ni lagi takleh blah...call pukul 5 pagi pastu cakap...'eeh..sorry i mengigau la'...memula nak gelak pun ada...apa nye lawak kampung minah ni nak buat!! ntah apa2 punye mentaliti...wa nak tuduh dia bukan2 pun..wa bukan kenal sgt...tapi wa cam buat conclusion sendiri ah..dia ni memang perempuan tak paham bahasa and otak kampung!!

wa cam nak buat something je....i've already told my tunang...kalau minah kampung tu lelebih...wa tanpa segan silu je akan sound tepet! wa tak peduli...wa dah kasi muka..minah tu nak kawan ngan tunang wa...,wa sikit pun tak heran..,tapi minah tak sedar diri ni cam lelebih ah plak!

at first i thought i just wanna stay cool, lek lek je la....but i dont want to feel insecure and i dont want to have this syak wasangka feelings towards him...satu benda yang sangat tak best wa rasa...wa nak relationship wa smooth je...wa heran ah...kenapa ada manusia mcm ni?? for me la kan..bila dah jadi mcm ni...senang je, kalau dah tak paham bahasa sangat...wa terpaksa ah cakap the same languange as minah tu...just nak sedarkan minah tu! i just hope she's prepared for me..sbb wa sendiri pun cam horror dengan diri wa bila wa dah start benci orang......

so to you miss halina, good luck! there will be no talian hayat, definitely no a,b,c,d choice, no nothing. just be prepared to roll your bag out of my life! sayonara bitch!

lega!phewwwwwwww!

a note to them

wa termenung jap...kenapa wa rasa terguris sangat? besar sangat ke salah wa?memang la besar...tapi takde ruang untuk wa perbaiki ke? kadang2 wa rasa.....kenapa bila wa je buat salah...wa akan rasa hina sgt.......or maybe i am just too emotional?? touching lebihh??!! or maybe i am the type that never gonna make ppl feel that way...sbb tu wa expect the same..tapi wa kena terima hakikat..we are living in this world with different dna's breathing the same air..

apa pun..deep down..selama wa hidup ni..memang banyak salah dah wa buat...banyak penyesalan dah dalam hidup wa...tapi wa ni manusia biasa...wa mmg admit that i'm far far far bepuluh ribu batu jauhnya from being perfect...tapi everyday i live...i always want to make sure that i am a better person....even sometimes wa cam frust menonggeng sebab wa tahu wa dah upsetkan ramai orang....tapi wa bangun balik and cuba lagi...just wa harap orang2 yang wa sakitkan hati, wa pernah buat salah...boleh bagi peluang kat wa sama mcm wa bagi peluang kat diri wa sendiri...

to my parents especially, wa tahu diorang mmg frust dengan wa...dari dulu lagi....dalam hati wa cam sedih gila sbb diorang tak pernah fail untuk bagi peluang kat wa....wa mmg thankful sesangat..wa harap wa dapat happykan diorg satu hari nanti...insyaallah....

to my other half, wa bersyukur sebab wa dapat orang yang sayang wa sangat2....yang boleh terima diri wa seadanya...im glad that i met u cause u really changed my life..thank u sgt sbb slalu ada ngan wa...

to my self, please be strong..

15.01.10 - The day i met the hotter babe!

ohhh...im loving every inch of her....she's gorgeous...she's just perfectly BOLD and BEAUTIFUL!!!! However, today i had made some stupid mistakes that i chose to do it..i really hate myself!


so sad to feel lost especially when u really need to know where u are... and its a disaster to know that no one is reachable, even the ones you love.

my fault, my mess, my loss.

yes, i promised and yes, i break it. im not perfect, but i have changed. sometimes i felt sorry for myself. i just cant do anything right....i always disappoint ppl around me and it sucks.

- breakdown-

05.01.10 - The day she went away...

Today is the day i lost my blackberry phone. i just need to put it here so that i can remember....sad sad sad.....hope that i'll get hooked with another hotter bb soon....still searching for the perfect one for me tho.hurmmm....BOLD maybe..?