selekeh girl in the mirror

hoi! selekeh nye awak!! my mom shouted... *erkkk....aku blurr*

i ran to my room....tengok cermin....hurmmm...

ok je wa tengok muke wa....hodoh la skit...but that does'nt mean i'm selekeh kan...

rambut wa kaler kan main....blonde lagi! up to date pe....apa lagi yang selekehnya??

dressing....jeans n t-shirt....ok la tu! baru la rock...sesuai ngan jiwa wa...

make up?? ermm...kureng skit tapi ok ok la.....takde la sampai tukar muke jadi anak patung..

so which part yang wa selekeh ni? still blur......

then i looked into the mirror again....and again.......tryin to figure out what is so selekeh about me..! suddenly wa nampak ada air mata ngalir.....cam tetiba je sebak...

wa tak toleh...i keep on staring at myself.....

i think ive found the answer...my mum think that im selekeh because of my inner self...not my appearance....

after so long living in this world....i havent found anything in life that complete me...im just too selfish, doing things for my sake...without thinking about anyone else...

tapi kan....inilah diri wa...wa confuse...kenapa life wa mcm ni?wa dah jadi baik..takde org appreciate...wa jadi jahat..lagi la orang benci....sampai at certain point...wa rasa mcm wa ni elok duk dalam bilik tak yah jumpa orang....orang mungkin tak dapat faham wa...kenapa wa jadi mcm ni....

they always see me laughing bagai nak gila....gelak macam petir...tapi itu semua sementara....

kadang2 when im alone....all my nightmares datang attack wa....i felt so fragile...wa sendiri takut bila wa jadi gila....

betulla my mom cakap...hidup wa ni memang selekeh....takde pun yang pernah betul....ada je wa buat silap..i tried to learn...wa kene ada org pimpin wa...tapi kebanyakan pimpin separuh jalan je...then lepas balik....but i dont really salahkan diorg....they are scared and tak tahan dgn perangai wa kot....wa redha je la....

ini lah hidup selekeh wa...ive tried hard to be the best....maybe i need more time to be perfect like others....wa tak pernah nyesal....wa dah biasa...sbb tu kalau sekali sekali im happy...i will treasure it forever....sbb org slekeh mcm wa ni.....belum tentu akan dapat happiness for real....

i will be a better me....wa nak semua org cakap wa ni cantik...bukan rupa...appearance hot ke apa...but lovely in the inside....wa nak jadi yang terbaik...for myself.....bukan perempuan tak guna lagi........

i hope my life will be teratur lepas ni....tanak selekeh2 dah!!!

wa tengok dalam mirror lagi...wa wipe off my tears and slowly wa pusing...hoping that i will never look back and see that selekeh girl in the mirror ever again......